SinEaster: A Novel Page 11

  *note—The Easter Bunny was originally four-legged. And Humpty Dumpty (not Gumpty Dumpty) was the original anthropomorphic egg contestant.

  973—Due to a revolutionary uprising in Easter Land, the contest was delayed. The Great War began, between those who wanted a democracy and those defending the monarchy.

  975—First appearance of the SinEaster Area, which is an evil part of Easter Land. It started out small, but grew larger each year, until, six years later, a small magic wall had to be conjured to contain it. The Grene Myhnt Wall was designed to grow taller and stronger as SinEaster did. However, the wall was unable to block the river that leads into SinEaster. Several dams were attempted to be built, but they all met with mysterious accidents, and to this day, nothing blocks the path of the river into SinEaster. No one knows what horrible, horrible evil lurks behind the wall.

  981—The Easter Bunny used corruptamagic to become bipedal. The use of corruptamagic is illegal, and the Easter Bunny was severely punished with public flogging. Ha ha.

  982—Disappearance of Humpty Dumpty. Humpty Dumpty basically disappeared one day. Gumpty Dumpty was allowed to take his place according to the contest rules, because he was the son of Humpty Dumpty and a gummi worm. To this day, no one knows what happened to Humpty Dumpty. This is one of the great mysteries of Easter Land history.

  982—Boiling of the Witch. The Prince of Easter Land, who was married to Princess Cinnamon, had been having an affair with a witch. After the Prince broke up with the witch, she used corruptamagic to turn the Prince into a toad. He had been alone in the Dark Forest at the time, so he was unable to be located. As punishment, the witch was boiled alive. It was later discovered that she had been pregnant at the time with the Prince’s child. The boiled egg was cut from the witch’s body and given to Princess Cinnamon.

  The Princess’s Flight—There was a prophesy that Princess Cinnamon had a gift to “bestow a single, magical, transformative kiss upon a man who in his life would be King.” She loved her husband, despite the affair. She wanted to search for the Prince in the Dark Forest, to kiss him, to transform him back. She thought she was destined to find him. It was judged to be too dangerous, because of all the hostile revolutionaries that were around. So, she chose three loyal servants and snuck out of the castle, carrying the boiled egg. At one point, she was interrogated by enemy soldiers, who were searching groups of peasants, looking for anyone carrying a boiled egg, because they had learned of the Princess’s journey. She had to quickly hide the egg, then later go back and find it again. She was separated from two of her servants at that time. A day later, she was separated from the last servant during another close call with soldiers. A message was received at the castle, stating that she intended to continue to the Dark Forest. She never returned from her journey. What happened to her is one of the great mysteries of history. Another mystery is, what happened to the boiled egg she carried? His name was to be Antiboli, and as the only heir of his father, he is often referred to as the once future King of Easter Land.

  People searched for Princess Cinnamon and Antiboli. But they couldn’t find them. In the Princess’s honor, it was decided that the Easter custom would be to hide boiled eggs, painted different colors, so they’d look human. Chicken eggs are substituted for human eggs.

  986—All the royalty were killed. Easter Land fell into chaos, ravaged by battle between those who wanted democracy and those who wanted monarchy.

  990—The Easter Toad and Gumpty Dumpty went into a long nap, right before they were supposed to mate with humans to produce the Chosen Ones. The Easter Bunny was assigned to temporarily fill in as egg deliverer, until the contest could be resumed, and despite the turmoil, the Easter Holiday was begun.

  1046—The last humans in Easter Land were killed in the Great War.

  1990—The Easter Toad and Gumpty Dumpty finally woke their lazy selves up. They and the Easter Bunny mated with humans in the non-magical realm, to create the Chosen Ones, who will be able to rule when they turn 18.

  The Present—I, Princess Megan, have been called in to oversee this contest. Don’t mess with me.

  The Future—Easter Land has not had any rulers or even any humans living in it for over 900 years, but it is time for Easter Land to be repopulated with humans! The Chosen Ones will help it happen, unless they don’t.

  The Prophesy Poem

  The three compete to see who hides the eggs,

  At seventeen, three-hundred-sixty-four.

  One blond, one red, one with fantastic legs;

  Each has a special gift, for what’s in store.

  They each will try to find a candy hid:

  The icing eyes, sdiu, and jelly bean.

  And for three questions history begs to ask,

  They’ll seek three answers—one answer per kid.

  Then the snake will bust the wall before eighteen,

  Allowing entrance to complete their task.

  Out of the four, the future Queen will come,

  From four jailbaits, who of their sorrows, sing.

  She’ll come, before they add the final sum,

  To cure the loneliness that plagues the King.

  So strong SinEaster grows from hatred’s cost,

  It can destroy Easter, the eighteenth day.

  The three should give the Princess candy sin.