SinEaster: A Novel Read online

CHAPTER 11

  Deon’s Adventure Begins

  Deon was carried in a chariot being pulled along by a large racing snail. After about an hour, they came upon the edge of a forest.

  The snail stopped, then the snail (who was male) said, “That’s the Dark Forest and that’s where your search will take place. I will wait for you to return.”

  Deon said, “I take it you aren’t coming with me?”

  “Well, the Dark Forest is dangerous! No one ever goes in there! Plus, there’s a lot of swamps in there, and, unlike you, I can’t swim.”

  “Ah, so you can’t swim, because you’re a snail.”

  The snail nodded. “Well, it’s actually because I’m a racing snail.”

  “So, you can’t swim, but you can run real fast?”

  “Well, yes,” said the snail with a sneer. “I’m a racing snail.”

  “Okay, so what’s my mission?”

  “You have two missions. The first is to find the sdiu candy—”

  “Wait. Sdiu? What are sdiu?”

  “Nobody knows. We just know that’s what the prophesy says. So if you find the sdiu, give it to Princess Megan, and you’ll get two points.”

  “Okay, if I find the sdiu and happen to realize it’s sdiu, I’ll be sure to grab it.”

  The snail nodded. “Don’t worry. You’re one of the *x.Chosen Ones.x*. You have a special…sense. Let your sense guide you.”

  “Okay,” Deon said doubtfully.

  The snail smiled reassuringly. “Your second mission is to find out what happened to Princess Cinny.”

  Deon’s eyes shifted as he thought for a moment. “You mean Princess Cinnamon? She’s the princess who was looking for the prince who had been turned into a toad, right?”

  “Right. And she was carrying the boiled egg of the once future King of Easter Land. That egg was the Prince’s son. The Princess’s last message she sent to Easter Castle said she would enter the forest around this area. No one knows what happened. She was never seen again.”

  Deon said, “Well, if it happened so long ago—if she died, then the body would be…unrecognizable. I mean, am I supposed to search for a body, or just try to find someone who knows what happened?”

  The snail seemed apologetic. “I’m afraid I can’t answer that. The prophesy doesn’t really specify. Princess Megan is the judge, and she’s the one who will decide whether you accomplished that part of your mission.”

  Deon said sarcastically, “Okay, thanks.”

  “Sorry I couldn’t be more help. But you’re one of the Chosen Ones, and destiny has its hand upon you.”

  “Okay, can I ask a question?”

  “Sure,” said the snail.

  “What happened to the Prince-who-turned-into-a-toad? Did they ever find him?”

  “Oh, yes. The humans later went into the forest and found him. Their sorcerers weren’t powerful enough to transform him back, though. So they took him back to Easter Castle as a toad. When his father was killed in the Great War, he became the King. But he missed the swamps, because he was a toad, and he would always try to escape from the castle and hop back to the Dark Forest. One day, he was killed in the castle by an assassin pretending to be a prostitute. The monarchy collapsed with his death. He had no heirs other than Antiboli, the boiled egg who disappeared along with the Princess. After many years of anarchy, the whole human population of Easter Land wiped itself out. There was actually a dramatic battle where the last two humans simultaneously impaled each other on spears.”

  “Can I ask another question?”

  “Sure.”

  “Where did the Easter Toad come from? Can you tell me more about her?”

  “You mean your mother?”

  Deon shuddered a little. “Yes, I’ve been wondering how she can be my mother. How could she impregnate my human mother? In my world, two females can’t make a baby.”

  “Well, to answer your first question, the Easter Toad was chosen by the toads of her swamp because she was the biggest toad at the time.”

  “She really is a big toad,” Deon said.

  “She’s also very good at multitasking and has a lot of enthusiasm.”

  “Well, those are good qualities.”

  “Absolutely. Now to answer your second question of how the Easter Toad impregnated your human mother. Well you see, when the Easter Toad fornicated with your human mother,” (Deon winced) “it was a very special, magical moment, the purpose of which was to create one of the Chosen Ones. The normal rules of reproduction were briefly suspended. As your two mothers fornicated, a tadpole was magically created, and that tadpole wriggled into your human mother. That tadpole…was you.”

  Deon shouted out, “What?!”

  “Well, you started out as a tadpole, but by the time you came back out, you looked human. But you were still part toad, which explains why your legs didn’t work very well back in your world.”

  Deon shook his head. “I can’t believe I was once a tadpole! It’s a little disturbing.”

  “I can understand.”

  “Thanks. I guess I just have a lot of things to get used to. Like I’m not used to being able to walk. This has been the weirdest day of my life.”

  The snail nodded and smiled.

  “Well,” Deon said, “I should get started on my adventure. So what’s in that forest? Do you have a map or anything?”

  “Well, there are swamps. And there is a lagoon close by here that is connected to SinEaster River, which is the river that leads into SinEaster, which is pretty close to here. That’s all I know. Don’t worry though, you won’t need a map. You’re—”

  “I know,” interrupted Deon. “One of the Chosen Ones.”

  “Yes, you’ll find your way.”

  There was an awkward silence.

  “Well,” said Deon, “I’ll see you when I get back.”

  “Good luck.”

  “Thanks,” Deon said, then he entered the forest.

  Tall trees surrounded him, and covered him in shade. Somehow, he sensed where to walk. He was grateful to be walking on solid ground, because off to his left the forest turned into swamp area.

  About twenty minutes later, he started to hear singing—but he heard it inside his head, not through his ears—it was a small group of females who sang a song of pure sorrow without using words—a song of outrage at the cruelty of love, of gentle, sad beauty, and sweet sweet death. And somehow he could sense that the non-verbal voices were amphibian.

  The song was so enchanting, that he felt drawn to meet the alluring creatures singing it. He walked toward them.

  Up ahead was a small lagoon. Sunlight softly filtered through the trees down onto the water. He couldn’t see any creatures. The song seemed to be coming from under the water. On the far end of the lagoon, a small channel connected the lagoon to a river. The water in the lagoon churned slowly.

  To Deon, it seemed like a hidden paradise, where someone could forget all their troubles—his steps quickened as he approached the water. In fact, he suddenly realized that if he would just drown himself, he wouldn’t have to worry about anything ever again. He wouldn’t have to feel so alone anymore. At the edge of the water, he slipped his shoes and jeans off. No longer would he have his heart broken by girls, he thought. He was a breast man with a long history of being shot down by numerous top-heavy girls, just because he was in a wheelchair. Women could be so shallow. He looked down and his legs were skinny, brownish-greenish and spotted, and didn’t bend the way he was used to. As the song filled his head, he stripped down to just his boxer briefs and fanny pack. His toes were webbed and looked like a strange mix of human and amphibian. He stepped into the cool water. He briefly admired the reflection of his upper body in the water.

  He regularly worked out his upper body and also took steroids and human growth hormone (as well as anti-estrogens to prevent him from growing “bitch tits” again—he’d already had them surgically corrected once, but he still had the puffy nipples). He wanted his muscles to be as
large as possible. Of course, he couldn’t work out his legs, because they were paralyzed back in the regular world, but that only gave him more time to develop his pecs.

  Well, time to drown myself, he thought. He started walking toward the deeper part of the lagoon.

  The singing really made him want to give himself up to the oblivion of death.

  But then a part of him resisted. Maybe life wasn’t so horrible, he thought. He decided to mull it over for a little bit.

  Meanwhile, his amphibian nature took over automatically, and he was swimming in the deeper part of the lagoon. He ducked his head underneath the water and looked around, but still couldn’t see any creatures. He could still hear the song, even under water. He suddenly wondered why he had been so determined to kill himself—perhaps it was a side effect of all the drugs he took to make his upper body bigger, like his shrunken testicles.

  The singing became louder inside his head. He shook his head in a vain attempt to be rid of it.

  He glided through the water, trying to ignore the song, but it was making him feel depressed, and that was annoying him. He was in the middle of the lagoon. He stopped and treaded upright in the water, then shouted out, “Shut up!” even though he didn’t know who he was yelling at. Then something small bumped against his foot. It startled him. Because of that touch, inside his head were the words, die die die! But they were someone else’s words!

  Then he felt three other bumps against his legs. The words just kill yourself entered his head.

  Then somehow—he didn’t know how—somehow his mind was connecting with amphibious creatures—

  There were four of them…

  The song in his head cut off.

  It was eerily quiet. Deon treaded the water and looked around.

  Then there was a voice he heard, inside his head, not through his ears. It was a female voice, and it telepathed, ~>Hi, I’m Brooke. Wow, this is weird!Hello. I’m Deon.I’m Brooke. I feel like I just woke up! Glad to meet you.I’m Phoebe! I’m sorry about trying to kill you.I’m Milla. I’m sorry about the song. I wasn’t able to stop singing it!I’m Princess Cinnamon. You can call me Princess Cinny. Please forgive our behavior.Are you the Princess Cinny? I’m on a mission to find out what happened to…you? I thought you were human…Yes, we used to be human, but our souls now inhabit these tadpole bodies and, until a few moments ago, the lagoon was controlling us. But now you’ve broken the spell!Ohhhh. Well, I hope that we can now be friends. There’s no need to fight. I’m one of the Chosen Ones…I don’t know what a Chosen One is, but you must be special, because you’ve been able to awaken our souls.You are part amphibious, like us!You can understand me. Why is that? We can’t even understand each other. Are you telepathing with the other tadpoles too?Yes I am,The only way we’ve been able to communicate with anyone is with our luring song.You girls are part human, part amphibian, like me. Maybe that’s how come we can communicate.Yes, we all used to be human girls. But when we each got our hearts broken, we were drawn into this lagoon and we all drowned here. Our souls left our bodies and we became these tadpoles. But the lagoon is enchanted and made us sing to lure others here to drown, and made us use it as bait.Use what as bait?Our song! It’s the only form of communication we’ve been able to use for centuries! We’ve gotten so good at luring creatures here! The lagoon imprisons their souls in its waters. But it takes all the pretty girls, and transforms them into tadpoles to lure others! Our song is like the bait used to convince the heartbroken to bite onto despair! But you resisted it. I guess our singing was not-so-great bait after all.Oh no no, your bait was almost impossible to resist. You’re not not-so-great baiters. You’re great baiters. Very good, very skilled, expert baiters!Expert baiters, huh. So we’ve got it down?You’re masters.I wish we didn’t have to bait you, but we were forced to by the lagoon. If the song had worked, the lagoon would have become your soul’s eternal prison. Sorry about that.Well I ain’t ready to go to jail quite yet! I don’t care how good your baiting is! So what happened to your human bodies? I’m on a mission to find out what happened to yours, Princess.I don’t know. Maybe they’re still in the lagoon. When we were turned into tadpoles, we lost most of our self-awareness. I only vaguely remember singing the song. It doesn’t really even feel like it was me doing it. It’s only because you’re here that our souls have been awakened. There’s something special about you. So I don’t know what happened to my human body. Sorry. But can I ask you, what happened to my husband, the Prince?Oh, I’m sorry, but he died a long time ago. It’s been over a thousand years…Oh, that’s awful! Well, at least I finally have free will. So, you say you’re a Chosen One. Are you here to rescue us?As a Chosen One, I have a special sense. And here’s what I sense…I want to get naked with you all, but you’re underage, aren’t you?Oops, sorry!I meant—I mean, I know you’ve been around for centuries, but your souls are all young. You all stayed at the same age when your human bodies died. You’re all under 18, so it’s illegal for you to witness nudity, but I’m under 18 too, so maybe what I want to do might not be illegal. How old are you all, anyway?”

  They all treaded upright in front of him while they answered.

  ~>16171417Princess, how can you be 17? Weren’t you married? What about the age of consent?It’s 18. Yes, well it’s legal to get married at my age in Easter Land with parental approval, but we never consummated, because I wasn’t yet legal and my husband was 22. I mean, Easter Land is a civilized place.This isn’t England after all.What do you mean?This isn’t England where the age of consent is 16! Mmmm, by the way, I love a guy with a British accent. That’s so sexy. I want one!I think I’m still within the bounds of the law for what I sense I should do. The laws are so confusing! But I think it’s okay, since I’m not more than two years greater than your age, and I’m under 18, so I’m still a minor, unless I’m tried as an adult, in which case, it wouldn’t matter that I’m under 18. And you are all at least 16—except for you, Brooke, I have to count you out. And I need you to close your eyes while this goes down.I understand.So, I’m one of the Chosen Ones, and I’m supposed to use my special sense to guide me. I hope it works.Me too!Me too!I hope so too!I know you can do it!We must do a magical water dance. You must rub against me. And I must be naked.What the hell!I’m glad I don’t have to participate in that ickiness!Yeah, baby!Cool,I’m frightened by male nudity,If you’re fine with it, cool. If not, just trust me. I don’t know why. I just know it’s what we should do. I’m one of the Chosen Ones. Trust me?I trust you, but what choice do I really have? But you should know, if you try anything, I will personally kick your ass.Okay.Thank you for the magical tadpole slime.You’re welcome!Hello again, everyone! Princess Cinny, I found your body. It was transformed into chocolate! I’m gonna take it back and see what can be done. Maybe they can use magic or something.Oh no! There are licorice snakes here! They’re under the water!Is there anything you can do?We’re too small!They’re taking my body to SinEaster!What’s SinEaster?It’s a part of Easter Land that has become corrupted and perverted. It is a horrible holiday wanna-be that wants to destroy Easter! The river goes into it, very close to here, and it is guarded by the licorice snakes.Why would they want your human body?I don’t know!… What if they ravage my body?!