MachoPoni: A Prance With Death Read online

  And guess what was swishing inside that fountain?

  Floating to and fro like darting tadpoles were three merponies happily playing with the borrowed beachball! (Merponies have the heads of ponies and the bodies of fish.)

  Making her entrance, at the front of the line of girlponies, was Dust, the Princess for a Day. She looked around dramatically and grinned and proclaimed,

  “Let the Promenade begin!”

  Everyone cheered, “Hooray!”

  With a glint in his eye, Machoponi looked across the room, enthralled at Dust’s dimpled smile. Macho and Dust began slowly leading everyponi down the staircases as the merponies began to sing:

  Shoopy shoopy doo shoop shoopa shoopy doo

  Then music began to play and all the girlponies started to sing this song:

  It’s Fun to Put on a Dress

  “Oh, it’s fun to put on a dress!

  To revel in sweet excess!”

  Dust looked over at the guys and winked with modelesque smile. A couple of the guys stumbled because she was so beautiful.

  (The guys and girls were now 3/4 of the way down the staircases.)

  Dust called to the guys, “Oh, ain’t it fun to put on a dress?!”

  At which the guys shouted back: “We guess!”

  And the girlponies shouted back, “You guess?!!” before they started to sing again while continuing down the stairs,

  “Ohhhh…it’s fun to put on a dress,

  When you’re feeling a little burlesque,

  Cuz naked is boring and normal,

  And doesn’t take as much finesse!”

  The guys shouted back, “We guess!”

  Now Dust stood on the landing in the middle of the staircase. Macho and Clint both stood on the landing opposite her, waiting.

  Dust sang,

  “Well, you don’t understand I suppose,

  Just how wonderful and sexy are clothes,

  And I suppose that you won’t be impressed,

  With my choice of fine fashion unless.…”

  Clint and Macho shouted out, “What?”

  “Unless I let you.…”

  “Yeah?!” all the guys shouted back.

  “…Unless I let you look up my dress!”

  She then turned around fetchingly on the landing, beckoning with her hindquarters. The guys immediately knew what to do. They rushed madly down the stairs to find that glorious angle where they could look up Dust’s dress. Their jaws dropped. It was a glorious sight, greater than any painting from the days of yore—a work of art.

  A few of the guyponies’ top hats even fell off as they strained their necks to see.

  And the merponies looked on with envy and one even muttered sarcastically, “What an ass!” then mocked Dust by sticking her own tail out of the water at the guys.

  But Dust only grinned, then shouted back at the merponi with sugary sweetness, “What a nice tail! And what did you say?”

  And the merponi, taken aback, shouted, “What a nice ass you are!”

  And Dust shouted back, “I’m not an ass, but a poni! And you still have a beautiful tail!”

  The merponi blushed at the compliment, then swam around the fountain with a big grin.

  Dust put on a smile and began to sing again as she stepped down the last half of the staircase:

  “Sooo…when you’re feeling a little burlesque,

  It’s nice to put on a dress!”

  Then the instruments stopped playing and everyone thought the song was over, but Dust started singing a solo as she slowly walked down the final steps of the staircase.

  This is what she sang:

  “Ohhh, but now I must confess…”

  “What???” everyone else shouted in unison.

  “I’ve got a secret, but you can’t see…unless!…”

  “What???” Ponies looked at each other with bewilderment, then shifted their gazes back onto Dust. “Will you show us?”

  “Ohhhhh…I’ll show you my secret I guess, but you can’t see, no you can’t see unless…”

  Everyone else shouted, “Unless??!”

  “Yes! You can’t see unleeeeess. I said you can’t see, you can’t see unleeeeee…”

  The room took a collective gasp of anticipation as Dust took the last step onto the dance floor while holding one note. Her voiced started shifting into a higher pitch as she turned her backside toward all the girlponies.

  “…eeeeessss

  You look up my dress!”

  And with those words Dust applied a powerful booty quake motion which caused the bottom half of her dress to lift up and fold over her back, so that her rear was exposed for everyponi to see.

  Then they all stood contemplating Dust’s naked bottom, the best one in the village.

  And the guys on the left side of the room began gasping and exclaiming in surprise, while the girls were silent and calm because they were at the wrong angle to see what the guys saw.

  One of the guyponies shouted out, “A tramp stamp! She has a tramp stamp!”

  And it was true! There, on her flank, above her right leg for all the guyponies and merponies to see was a new tattoo of a red heart-outline inside a black circle. And running jaggedly down the center of the heart was her scar.

  And as the room filled with shocked murmurs, Macho watched the huge grin form on Dust’s face.

  CHAPTER 4

  The Promenade

  Dust’s mocking laughter echoed throughout the dance hall. She said, “Well you’ve been staring at my butt quite long enough!” She made a little butt jiggle motion to emphasize her point. “But now that you’ve got a good gander, and my dress you have now looked quite under…” She giggled. “…it’s time to move on to what we came here for: to dance dance dance!” Then she twitched her back to flip her dress over and cover her rear.

  All the ponies began cheering at the mention of dancing. They all filed down the stairs onto the dance floor. They lined up so the guys were on the left side of the room and the girls were on the right, and each guyponi faced a girlponi partner. The classical waltz music began to play, heavy on the string instruments. Then each couple began gracefully walking toward each other. Macho was across from Badunkadunk, with her beautiful pink hair with white stripes and her light-blue body. Dust was across from Clint, and that made Macho really jealous.

  All the couples stopped in the middle of the room, a couple of feet away from each other and bowed gracefully as the beautiful music filled the air. They danced the rest of the moves to the music: they circled each other by stepping forward to pass their partner’s side, then walking sideways, then stepping backwards, then stepping to the side so that they faced their partner again, then they bowed.

  That was how it started. Then they would begin to dance in their own way, with the guy leading. Sometimes the pairs would do dance steps to the side, or forward or backward. Some couples even touched their muzzles together, and occasionally a girl would spin. Then the music would end, so they would walk backward away from each other, then bow. Then they would either stand on the edges of the room, socializing, or line up for another dance. The evening continued on this way, until it was almost time for the dance off.

  It was a few minutes before the scheduled dance off and Macho was trying his best to relax. He knew he had nothing to worry about, because he’d been practicing for weeks, plus he was clearly a much better dancer than Clint. Macho was more nervous about the kiss he was supposed to have with Badunkadunk.

  He was standing on the edge of the dance floor watching the ponies dance.

  He heard someone say, “Pssst” into his right ear. He turned his head to see Dust smiling at him.

  “Hey handsome,” she said.

  “Hey beautiful,” Macho replied.

  Dust batted her lashes. “I want to speak to you a little bit before you do that dance off.” She motioned with her head toward a hallway.

  “Okay,” Macho repl
ied, then he followed her into the hallway. They were the only two ponies there. “Yes, what is it?” Macho asked.

  “Well…I just couldn’t bear to have Badunkadunk kiss you before…I had a chance to kiss you myself.” She moved her mouth toward his and Macho leaned forward too. Their mouths touched and Macho’s heart quickened. Then he felt Dust’s tongue pressing to touch his and their tongues mingled. Then Macho was suddenly stuck by a strange sensation. His tongue felt like it was tingling and becoming cold. Dust pulled back and Macho stared into her beautiful eyes. What was that chilly feeling? Was that what love felt like?

  Dust giggled, then said, “There, I kissed you first. You’re mine.”

  Macho felt the blush rising in his cheeks.

  Dust smiled. “Now go have an interesting dance off, baby.”

  “Thank you,” Macho stammered, then he turned to walk back. As he went back onto the dance floor, he saw Badunkadunk standing ahead of him, to the right. She was facing the opposite direction. A few moments later, Dust came up behind him, then went off to mingle in the crowd.

  It was almost time for the dance off and Macho felt himself feeling a little dizzy from anticipation. The waltz music stopped and someone shouted, “It’s time for the dance off!” The murmurs spread throughout the room.

  Across the room, Macho saw Clint making his way through the crowd. Macho’s legs began to feel weak. Badunkadunk was turning around to face him.

  Macho began walking closer to Badunkadunk. She grinned at him. As he came up to her, she said, “You’re a stud, Macho,” and she tilted her head and puckered up. Nervously, Macho kissed her. He had only meant it to be a short kiss, but as he tried to pull back, Badunkadunk pressed forward and slipped him some tongue. Their tongues touched and Macho was surprised to feel his tongue tingling with a chill! What was this strange cold feeling? It was like when he’d kissed Dust! He didn’t understand and he began to sway with confusion as he pulled his mouth away from Badunkadunk’s.

  He searched the room for Dust, then he saw her about thirty feet away. He wanted to read her expression to make sure she had meant it when she’d said she wouldn’t mind him kissing Badunkadunk.

  He made eye contact with her. And then Dust shouted out in alarm, “How could you?”

  The surprise hit Macho so hard that it made his head spin. Dust began crying out loud.

  Macho shouted at her, “Dust wait!” but for some reason, he slurred his words. Clumsily, he tried to walk toward her.

  But Dust yelled, “Don’t come near me! Go do your dance contest! You’ll learn your lesson afterwards!” She stared hatefully at him, and Macho stood with all the ponies’ eyes on him, and the effect of everything was now making him woozy.

  He looked to his right and Clint was standing next to him. Clint sneered and said, “Did you have fun kissing my sister? We’ll talk about that later. Now, let’s dance.”

  Macho nodded and hoped his shakiness would disappear once he started dancing.

  Macho turned to face Clint, then they each stepped backward so that they weren’t too close to each other. Then the music began to play.

  The song was a recording of an old school rap by the band, Run P.O.Knee, and it was called:

  It’s Spiffy

  The opening music of the song filled the dance hall as Clint and Macho stared each other down and made mean faces at each other. Macho was finding it difficult to focus, though, for some reason. They each flung off their top hats and boas.

  And Run P.O.Knee began their rap:

  “I met this little poni, the color macaroni.

  Said she could really dance,

  But she turned out to be a phony.

  I met another filly, she said I looked real silly,

  But then I pranced around for her,

  And now she’s on my willy.”

  (Then the chorus started and Clint and Macho began dancing frantically as Run P.O.Knee rapped:)

  “It’s spiffy to prance in time, to prance in time, that’s right, equine.

  It’s spiffy!… It’s spiffy spiffy spiffy spiffy.”

  Macho was doing some elaborate footwork, at least he was trying to. He was having some trouble warming up. He stumbled a little.

  Across from him, Clint was popping-and-locking, which was a style of dance where he seemed to jolt into sudden movement then freeze, then move again. He was jerking his head from side to side and alternately lifting his legs and stepping down.

  As the second verse began, Clint began jutting his chest out while bouncing up and down.

  Macho leaned forward, preparing to go onto his back and spin on the floor, but instead he lost his balance and fell over.

  And Run P.O.Knee rapped:

  “And in this poni world, it’s always so pastel,

  And gray they say is not allowed, and it’s like hell,

  Cuz hell is when you can’t be sad or who you are,

  And now I say they took pastel just way too far.

  It’s spiffy to prance in time…”

  The music came to a sudden stop.

  Macho was feeling really dizzy and could barely lift his head off the floor. He opened one eye to look at Clint—Clint had stopped dancing and was laughing at him!

  Someone was walking toward Macho. He thought he recognized the hooves and he managed to raise his eyes. Dust was standing in front of him. He tried to speak, but for some reason he couldn’t even begin to form words.

  “How could you?” Dust shouted down at him. “First you cheat on me by kissing another girl and then you get drunk for such an important event? You’ve broken my heart, Macho, I hope you know that!” She looked around at the entire room of watchers. “I hope everyone knows that! I can’t live on, knowing what he’s done to me!”

  There was a collective gasp through the room.

  And Macho felt horribly confused and wanted to speak, to tell her that he wasn’t drunk. He had no idea what was wrong with him, but something was definitely wrong. And he desperately wanted to ask Dust why she was saying such things when the kiss with Badunkadunk had been Dust’s idea in the first place!

  Macho tried to say, “What are you saying?” but the words wouldn’t come to Macho’s mouth—instead he slurred out, “Wha—wha—whaut.”

  Badunkadunk shouted at Dust, “I didn’t know that Macho was still with you, Dust! He told me he wasn’t involved with you anymore! He lied to me! You’ve got to believe me!”

  Macho shook his head in disbelief. What was happening? Why was Badunkadunk lying? He’d never been involved with Badunkadunk at all!

  Dust replied to Badunkadunk, “I believe you. I’m not angry at you at all. I just feel so hurt. We were both fooled by Macho.”

  Clint, who was now standing beside Badunkadunk, shouted at Dust, “You cheated on me, but maybe we can work this out. Don’t do anything drastic.”

  “No,” Dust replied. “I can never get over Macho’s betrayal. He convinced me to cheat on you, then he ended up cheating on me! I’ve lost all faith in him. He’s no good. You broke my heart, Macho.”

  Macho’s eyes widened in horror. How could this be happening!

  Dust stared at Macho for a couple seconds, then burst into tears and galloped out of the dance hall. Badunkadunk followed her out.

  A few guys started to gallop after her, but Clint shouted out, “Stop! It would be the worst thing you could do right now, if you followed her! Let her go!” so the ponies who had been following Dust stopped. Clint then said, “Give her a few moments to calm down, then I will talk to her. I hope she’ll get over what Macho did to her.” Clint’s voice sounded filled with concern.

  Shakily, Macho attempted to stand and managed to get back on his four hooves again. He seemed to be feeling a little less dizzy. A twinkle caught his attention. He looked down to see Dust’s tiara lying on the floor. One of his friends asked if he was okay, and Macho managed to say, “I don’t know.”

  He looked over at Clint. Some
guyponies were talking to him, trying to convince him to go after Dust or to at least let one of them go to her. Clint was shaking his head, and saying, “No, I’m her boyfriend. I know her. Leave her alone for a while.”

  And so everyponi stood awkwardly in silence. Then slowly, ponies began to engage in conversations. And Macho continued to feel less dizzy. Many of the other ponies seemed to be avoiding him—some of them glared at him.

  Machoponi only stared ahead with a glum expression on his face.

  Suddenly, Badunkadunk rushed into the room, screaming, “Hurry! It’s Dust! She just fell over! I think she’s died of a broken heart!”

  Everyone rushed outside and followed Badunkadunk. Macho was swept along with the rest of the crowd. He was relieved that he was no longer dizzy.

  Badunkadunk led them a short distance outside the castle. It was dark outside, but the moon was full and provided some light.

  They could see a poni lying on the ground and it looked like Dust. And as the crowd of ponies got closer, they could see, under the light of the moon, that it was indeed her.

  Clint and Badunkadunk, who were leading the crowd, stopped in their tracks. Then, various ponies started shouting at Dust, but she didn’t move.

  But Macho was pushing his way through the crowd. He was going to revive Dust—he had to.

  Beside him, Badunkadunk was yelling, “You broke her heart, and now she’s dead!” as Macho leaned down and felt for Dust’s pulse on her neck with his mouth.

  With dread, he realized she had no pulse.

  “Come back, Dust!” he shouted through tears. For several minutes, he shouted and cried.

  But Dust never revived. As the realization that she was truly gone struck Macho, he felt overwhelming sorrow. He didn’t know how he could live without her in his life. She was the only girl he’d ever loved.

  And Macho took a few steps backward, as the dizziness suddenly overwhelmed him once again. Helplessly, he watched Dust’s body lying still on the ground—watched as darkness filled his eyes, and Macho took a few more steps backward before collapsing.