Malice in Wonderland Bundle 3 Read online

  Morley pulls away, and she watches the shocked expression on his face.

  Teasingly, she says, “Was I that bad?”

  Morley’s eyes are open wide. “Oh no...it’s spectacular. The dark romanticism, it fills me. The art of poetry flows in my veins, is now like the very air I breath.”

  “I’ll have what he’s having,” Hatter quips. But he suddenly realizes what he was insinuating. “Oh! I didn’t mean I’d like to kiss you.”

  With a breathy voice, Malice says, “Would it really be so terrible?” She gazes intensely into his eyes.

  Hatter says, “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sure it would be quite nice. Just. Oh, bugger!” He crosses his arms and scowls.

  Malice says, “And how about you, Humpty? Do you yearn to feel these pillowy soft lips?”

  “I, um—” He begins to blush. “Such a— hadn’t thought—”

  Malice says, “I was joking, love.”

  Morley says:

  “Jokes, just like love

  Can both strike like a glove.”

  Malice sniffs. “Not your best work.”

  The Storyteller says, “You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t wish to witness any further. It seems, my girl, that the black rose has turned you into a mischievous little minx, with a penchant for poetry no less. I can’t wait to be rid of you, and both of you two’s poems. Meeting’s over, take your flower and begone. Don’t pluck it too much or it shall die. If you run out, don’t come back expecting more—I won’t be able to help you. I trust you can find your way out...” The Storyteller stands, and says, “Ta-ta,” before walking away.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  MALICE FEELS MELLOW and sensual...it is like her body is tingling and she is deeply attuned to the sad beauty of the world and the beautifully wretched souls within it.

  The rose petals have made her melancholy and morose, but it’s better than being a raging lunatic or a sappy, overly sweet goody goody. Besides, many artists and poets seem to have reveled in the whole dark, brooding artist persona. Isn’t it supposed to mean that one has a deep soul?

  She thinks about this as they walk back to the castle.

  At one point, she says to no one in particular, “Aren’t poets known for being passionate lovers?”

  Hatter, who is carrying the domed rose, stops walking. “Malice!” he exclaims. “How uncouth of you.”

  Malice presses her fist to her hip. “Oh, stop being so blooming prudish! I can be as uncouth as I wish to be! I’m the Queen!”

  “And a most glorious and majestic queen you are!” sucks up Morley.

  Malice chuckles at him. “My dear bird, I believe you are buttering me up for another kiss. You’re quite enjoying the feeling, are ya?”

  “Oh, most definitely, My Queen! The dark poetry flows through me, like a spirit wandering the halls of a grand museum. Oh, I can’t wait to set my beak to paper and write the words down!”

  Malice says, “How marvelous for you, but I shan’t kiss you anymore, because you’ve already had enough, and besides, the lips of the other two boys are obviously jealous.”

  “What?” Hatter says. “Jealous of a bird?”

  Humpty merely shakes his head and says, “No.”

  “No, love,” Malice says. “I meant, jealous of the sweet, delicious melancholy I’m feeling. I wish to share with you this delectable, rapturous feeling. I feel ironically sad and invigorated at the same time. Why, it’s a kind of inspired madness! You’d love it!”

  Morley says, “Like the divine madness of the great poets!”

  “Yes,” Hatter says, while licking his lips like at the aroma of a delicious meal. “It sounds a jolly good time. But there’s the whole notion of the kiss. It wouldn’t be proper.”

  “Oh, silly billy! We could pretend to be brother and sister.” She punches his arm.

  “Oi! What’s gotten into you?”

  “The scrumptious black rose! It’s filled me with blackness. Now my insides match my dress and my hair.”

  Hatter pouts while rubbing his arm. “But you’re just not acting your usual self, is all...”

  Malice smiles crookedly. “Perhaps the new me is better. I rather adore myself right now!” She whirls at Humpty with her hands formed into claws and makes a show of staring creepily and crinkly-eyed at him, “And what about you, fit bloke Humpty? Are you scared of girls, too?”

  Humpty says, “No, of course not!” He puffs his chest out. “I’m quite brave around them...I mean you...we are talking about you, correct?”

  Malice rolls her eyes. “Of course. Do you see any other girls around here? And you’re a boy, and you’re not afraid of girls, so I just want to give you a little peck on the lips. I want you to feel what I’m feeling. It’s marvelous!”

  Humpty looks down and mutters something that can’t be made out. Malice thinks he just might be starting to blush again.

  “What was that?” Malice says. “Speak up, lad!”

  He looks up and meets her eyes. “I just don’t want it like that. It makes it less special...”

  Malice catches her breath. “Cor, you’re a charming little bugger, aren’t ya?” She places her hand upon her chest. “But it needn’t be so dramatic as that. I just want to peck at you lightly for a bit to transfer the black rose’s majestic effects—no snogging necessary.”

  “Yes, but...” Humpty says.

  “What if we pretended we were man and wife?”

  “Crikey!” Humpty says.

  “Or I could be your mother,” Malice teases.

  “My goodness!” Humpty exclaims.

  Hatter chuckles to himself. Morley looks uncomfortable, silently watching.

  Malice says to Humpty, “What if we were brother and sister?”

  “Then, most definitely not!”

  “But—”

  “No, it quite creeps me out!” Humpty shouts.

  Hatter chuckles at him. “You are much too opposed to kissing her. She’s pretty and only two years younger. Why, if I were your age—” A shocked expression comes over his face and he shuts his mouth forcefully.

  Malice whirls on him with her eyes open wide in a playfully mocking way. “If you were my age, what?”

  “Never mind,” Hatter murmurs, and now he begins to blush, which doesn’t happen often.

  Malice teases Hatter, “What if I were in a coma like Sleeping Beauty was, and the only way to wake me was to kiss me upon the lips. What then?”

  “Well, I suppose I would kiss you, but you’re not in a coma. Let’s not play ‘what if’.”

  Malice claps her hands together and scrunches her shoulders. “Ooh! I know! Let’s play a game of what if!”

  “You tease us...” Hatter mutters.

  Malice says to Hatter, “What if I were bitten upon the lips by a venomous snake, and the only way to save my life was to kiss me...”

  Hatter says, “Though it would pain me, I’d have to let you die.”

  Malice shoots him a glare. “Oh, you’re no fun. You’re such a prude...and possibly a prat.” She sticks her tongue out at him.

  Hatter averts his gaze.

  Malice huffs and says to Humpty, “Well, I pose the same question to you. If a snake poisoned me and the only way to save me was to kiss me...”

  Humpty runs his hand over the top of his head. “Yes, of course I would. But that hasn’t actually happened. Please, let’s cease discussing this further. It quite upsets me.”

  Malice believes him. Humpty and Hatter are close to being fed up with her shenanigans. Still, she can’t help herself—she’ll push things just a tad bit further. She says to Humpty, “Well, what if we were both in a play, and your part required you to kiss me in a certain key scene. Wouldn’t you do it, then? It’s the job of an actor, and only make-believe nonetheless.”

  Humpty appears to be flummoxed. “Well, I suppose I would, then, if the part required. But, there is no play...”

  Hatter issues a frustrated groan. “Oh, leave the poor lad alone, won’t you? At thi
s rate, we’ll never get home.”

  “Yes!” Morley pipes in. “I need to get to the castle to spend time on my poetry!”

  Hatter says, “And we shan’t speak anymore of kisses.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  MALICE CHECKS IN ON Morley from time to time to see him feverishly scrawling poems in his room by dipping his beak in ink. He’s enjoying the black rose’s darkly sensuous sensations as much as she, which is why she wants to share the fun with the two fuddy-duddies, Humpty and Hatter.

  When she asks the Cheshire Cat if he wants a kiss, he refuses, saying the experience would be “repulsive and demeaning”.

  Well, fine then...

  Of course, there are many things she has to do, and Wonderland could very well be in grave danger from the Snark, and she has to talk to the Jabberwock.

  However...

  She’s having so much fun being under the influence of the black rose—the delectable seduction of the black rose—and she wants to experience the ride completely, for she suspects that the intoxication will be intense at first, but then wear off.

  Who knows? She thinks. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and be back to my dysfunctional bipolar self. I’ll have to enjoy this feeling as long as I can.

  And so she does a few giggling cartwheels, writes down some words of her play.

  In a sudden fit of inebriated conscientiousness, she gives orders to her guards to send a message throughout the land, requesting to speak to a Tin Knight, concerning the matter of a ticktock heart. She knows it may come back to haunt her, but the black rose is making her impulsive, and deep down, she knows it’s the right thing to do.

  A few minutes later, she regrets what she did, and thinks she should revoke the order, but the guards have already sped off. How foolish she would seem.

  She sulks.

  A few minutes later, her mind begins to wander and the idea pops into her head of who in the castle she can pester.

  Why, the Queen of Hearts, of course.

  After all, Malice’s talk with the Storyteller has raised numerous questions.

  Malice misses the last step down the staircase leading to the dungeon, she rolls with the fall upon the floor and begins cackling at her own clumsiness.

  “Mreeowww!” the Cheshire Cat exclaims as Malice rolls on the floor in her moderately poofy dress, while laughing wickedly, from the throbbing pain in her hip.

  “What a tumble!” the Cat’s floating head says.

  “Are you all right, My Queen?” says the guard card who’s accompanying her.

  “I’m smashing!” Malice says. “Or is that, crashing?” She meets eyes with the Cheshire Cat and they both start laughing again.

  After the guard card helps her up, they make their way to the Queen of Hearts’ dungeon cell.

  When they’re inside, Malice stands before the chained Queen of Hearts.

  “Malice, you’ve returned.” She scowls. “And you brought the floating furball.”

  Malice says, “Yes, he follows me around like a puppy.”

  “Do not.” The Cat sniffs.

  “Just teasing,” Malice says. To the Queen of Hearts, she says, “I have attained the black rose from the Storyteller. I even noshed upon one of its petals.”

  The Queen of Hearts’ eyes widen. “Is that so, dear? I should like to munch a bit of the petal myself...as my reward for helping you.”

  “I already rewarded you by fixing your face.”

  “Well, you are a most gracious ruler. A benevolent ruler who surely would share her bounty.”

  “I’m not so benevolent and kind anymore—that was the point of taking the rose petal in the first place.” She chuckles. “Besides, the Storyteller informed me that I’m the only one who should risk eating the petals directly. That’s why I’ve been trying to kiss Hatter and Humpty.”

  The Queen of Hearts’ shoulders slump. “Oh... Praytell, why do you want to kiss those boys?”

  “My kiss transfers some of the rose’s effects.”

  “Oh, I see.”

  “Yes, well...the reason I came to talk to you is that before I talked to the Storyteller, someone told me that the Snark plans to overthrow me and unite the monster tribes and bring back something called Woeland...”

  “Gah!” the Queen of Hearts exclaims. She tries to shake her fist, but the rattling chains prevent her from lifting her fist as she wants. “The Snark! The miserable sod!”

  “So you think he’s a credible threat?”

  “Of course he is! You saw him that one time! He’s a daft loon! Completely off his trolley, he is.”

  “According to my source, the Snark’s a little miffed at you for killing off the rest of the snarks and running off the Monsters of Woeland.”

  “Well the Snark’s a nutter. You can’t believe anything he says.”

  “So was Woeland real? Did you massacre the snarks?”

  “Well, I don’t have to answer any of your questions. But I’ll answer a few, for a kiss.”

  “What?” Malice exclaims. “The last thing I want to do is kiss you! In case you haven’t noticed, we’re enemies.”

  “So what are you going to do, torture me?” the Queen of Hearts teases.

  “A splendid idea!” the Cat exclaims.

  The Queen of Hearts says, “She won’t, though. Not with her heart mended.”

  Malice sighs. “I wouldn’t call it ‘mended’ exactly. It’s more like it’s...calmed down.”

  “Subdued,” the Queen of Hearts suggests.

  “Quite,” Malice says. “I’m no longer as sappy sweet, but I still have my morals.”

  The Queen of Hearts says, “And your honor, too, I presume. I trust you to keep your word, so if I agree to answer a few questions, you’ll give me a kiss, agreed?”

  “Oh, very well! I suppose it shall not be such a big deal if it’s quick.”

  “No snogging?” the Queen of Hearts teases.

  “No snogging.”

  “If it helps, you may pretend I’m Hatter. You fancy him, don’t you?”

  “We’re different ages,” Malice says. She can feel herself beginning to blush. “So did you kill the snarks?”

  The Queen of Hearts snorts. “Yes, I killed all the snarks, all except for the last one left. I’m sure he has a name, like the Jabberwock does, but since there’s only one of him about, we just call him The Snark. I’m rather proud of vanquishing them, they’re rather detestable creatures. Of course, it’s a bit of a waste to tell you—you’ll just forget all about it by tomorrow.”

  “I shan’t,” Malice says.

  The Queen of Hearts rolls her eyes. “What else do you want to know, while I’m in the mood to brag about it...”

  “Did you kill the other monsters as well?”

  “Yes, like the bandersnatches and were-creatures. I ran them out of this area.”

  “Did the monsters really deserve that?”

  “Of course they did! They’re monsters! And I was just a terrified little girl. Can you imagine how frightened I was?!”

  “But monsters can’t help what they are,” Malice says.

  The Queen of Hearts says, “Fiddle-faddle! They’re ugly and scary and needed to be destroyed!”

  Malice says, “Did they ever try to harm you, before you went after them?”

  “They scared me, and that was enough. That’s why I sent them into Woeland in the first place, to get them out of my head! Of course, I’m sure you won’t remember any of this.”

  “I shall,” Malice protests.

  The Queen of Hearts says, “I think I’ve answered enough questions. I’m ready for my delicious kiss.” She puckers her lips.

  “Eww,” the Cat says.

  “Not yet,” Malice says. “Where did Woeland come from?”

  “I created Woeland, when I was a little girl, as a safe place to put the monsters. Little did I know I would be sucked in and trapped in Woeland with them.”

  Malice says, “So you obliterated them, just because they were scary-looking.”
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  “They were monsters! And I’m a human. You are too, my dear. Given enough time, the monsters would have destroyed the humans if they could. I really think I have fulfilled my obligation. Ready for my kiss...”

  “Not yet,” Malice says. “Just a few more questions. You came here as a little girl, but now you have the appearance of a woman in her mid-thirties.”

  “Yes, yes, that’s because after I grew up, I used a spell to keep everyone in Wonderland from aging.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t wish to age further. Are you daft? Enough of this.”

  Malice says, “Did you bring over a bunch of little girls from the Outside World?”

  “Yes, back when I was a little girl. I wanted some friends around my age. But they were mean to me! None of them wanted to be my friend! I cried so much!”

  Malice says, “So those girls rejected you.”

  “They ganged up on me. But then I realized they were just jealous of my superiority! So I banished them. I should have killed them all! Of course, you’re going to forget all of this by tomorrow, due to the spell.”

  “I shan’t— Wait, what spell?”

  The Queen of Hearts says, “I wanted to erase all memory of the very existence of that wretched Woeland. So I cast a spell over everyone in Wonderland, so they forget all about the past, before Wonderland came into being.”

  “The Storyteller remembered,” Malice says.

  “Well, you’re not him, are you? Oh, you may remember for the rest of the day, but after a night’s sleep, you shall have no recollection. The same goes for the Cat and the guard card.”

  “Whatever,” the Cat says.

  “Well, blast! But maybe the spell won’t work on me,” Malice says, “since I’m special and all.”

  “Doubtful,” the Queen of Hearts says. “I told Alice a couple times, only to have her forget.”

  “What if I were to write it all down?”

  “Won’t work. I thought of that, you know. When next you try to read what you wrote down, you’ll find you only wrote gibberish.”

  “Well, fiddle sticks!” Malice says. “Magic is so...bothersome! Cancel the spell, then.”

  “That I shan’t do. However, I’ve answered enough questions. I’m ready for my kiss now.” She puckers.